Security Threat

My best friend offered to use her own frequent flyer miles so that I could visit her in Phoenix, Arizona one spring. I was looking forward to a relaxing spring vacation. She had reserved my ticket at the airline counter. When I approached the woman working behind the desk and told her my name, she informed me that nothing had been reserved under my name. I began to panic, knowing that my flight would be leaving in a matter of minutes. We finally figured out the mistake. Although I had already been married for a year, my friend had accidentally reserved my airline ticket under my maiden name. Luckily, I had my passport with me (which still had my former name on it).

The trip was quite enjoyable. When it came time to return home, Nicole dropped me off at the curb of the Phoenix Airport. Since I was flying Southwest Airlines, I was forced to stand in line with the hundreds of other passengers waiting to claim a seat. The wait was getting long and I soon grew tired of standing. With my backpack strapped to me, I leaned against the glass wall behind me.

As I slowly leaned to rest, the loudest alarm began to sound. I looked around to see what the commotion was all about. Since it had been only a matter of months since the September 11th attacks, all passengers in the airport were already walking on eggshells. Where was the security breach? My worst nightmare came true when I instantly saw hundreds of strange faces staring at ME!

I turned around to see that I had leaned against the glass door leading to the tarmac. The door was clearly labeled, "ALARM WILL SOUND." An awkward smile came across my face and I tried to use body language to communicate to the fearful passengers that I was innocent. Apparently it wasn't enough.

The Airport Security and Phoenix Police approached me and asked to speak with me in private. They pulled me aside and asked to see my boarding pass and driver's license. Trying to look calm, I pulled both from my backpack and handed them over. Looks of confusion covered their faces as if they were given a puzzle to solve. I had forgotten that my boarding pass was under my maiden name and my driver's license read my married last name. The inconsistencies in my identity did not play in my favor.

After explaining to them that I was just a clueless traveler who had accidentally sounded the alarm, they decided to let me go. They explained to me that the plane had waited for me. I was thrilled, thinking I had missed my opportunity to get home at my scheduled arrival time.

Soon after, I realized that it would have been better to take the next flight. All of the passengers had already boarded, which left the last seat of the plane for me. I had to walk down the aisle as all eyes watched me. I heard whispers...

"Is that the terrorist?"
"She looks harmless to me."
"Should we be worried?"

I now refer to that long walk down the aisle as my "Walk of Shame." I quietly sat down and reached for my Pocket Yahtzee inside my backpack. The woman across the aisle from me watched my every move and literally stared at me the whole flight home.

I make a lousy terrorist.