Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

I had the incredible opportunity to travel eastern Europe in the Summer of '97. We toured the historic churches of Prague, witnessed Austrian men wearing lederhosen, and walked the streets of Salzberg, the hometown of Amadeus Mozart. But, I'd have to say the highlight of my time was touring Germany. I felt "at home" in Germany. I felt as if I were among family. The food, the sights, and the smells all seemed familiar to me.

To my surprise, my family's namesake still had roots in Germany.The phone book even had 10 Applehoffs listed. I walked up and down "Applehoff Strase" (Strase=Street). This is where I belonged.

Throughout my stay, I was feeling as if I could breakdown any communication barrier that existed between an American and German and could confidently speak in German whenever I had the chance. Towards the end of the trip, I was "itching" for some McDonald's and happened to stumble across one of these familiar fast food restaurants in a small German town.

I walked up to the counter knowing exactly what I wanted to order...Value Meal #3. I took a deep breath, thought through the limited German words I knew, and memorized my broken order before allowing it to leave my mouth. As I stepped forward, I lost all confidence and pathetically pointed to the mat lying on the counter with the photos of the various value meals. I pointed to the #3 meal and said boldly, "Trei, Trei." The woman looked as if she didn't understand my request. I repeated, "Trei, Trei." At which point, the woman (with a confused look on her face) asked, "Would you like to TRY the Value Meal #3?" in perfect English.

I had been put in my place. I lowered my head and answered, "Yes." I didn't even attempt to respond in German for fear she would think I had some type of disability. Looking back on my humiliation, I realized that I had ordered like a caveman (or a 2-year-old...you decide). Because the German word for three is DREI, it was obvious that I couldn't form a complete sentence in German OR English.

I must say it was a darn good quarter pounder.