Mascot Empathy

Speaking of Clowns...

It was the summer after my senior year of high school. Since I would be leaving for college within a few months, I needed a summer job. So, I applied as a "temp." There were some great jobs and it paid well. For example, I got paid $12/hour to lick envelopes for eight hours. I also got paid big bucks to be an "undercover shopper" at PetSmart.

There was one job, however, that I could not pass up. Pepper's Waterbeds was looking for a clown to pass out fliers to customers during their big weekend sale. Who wouldn't jump at the chance to dress up as a clown and get paid $20/hour? It was right up my alley.

I showed up to the store that Saturday morning and announced to the manager, "I'm your clown!" He didn't seem amused. The manager pointed to the bathroom in the back of the store and said, "You'll find your costume in there." I had never thought that dressing up as a clown would be so difficult. I finally figured out that the large red shoes should be put on LAST, and wasn't exactly sure how I should put on my makeup. I decided to put one blue triangle under each eye and made a larger than life red mouth around my lips. The finished product was actually quite scary.

When I emerged from the employee restroom, I had some strange reactions from the salesmen. Finally, I was handed some fliers and asked to stand by the front door to welcome people as they entered the store. Within five minutes, it began to rain outside. It was clear that today would be slow in sales...which meant it would be a breeze for an inexperienced clown.

Soon after, the store manager walked over and explained that they needed me to attract business. He suggested that I stand at the streetlight outside the store and pass out fliers to passing cars. The store was situated at a very busy intersection near the local mall, but I found it difficult handing out anything to moving cars. Whenever the light turned red, I had to move fast.

The rain began to grow stronger and my makeup began to run. Passengers started to yell obscenities at me. I couldn't believe it! "Hey clown...will you do my kid's birthday party?" "What's up f*@^$#* clown?" "You're the saddest clown I've ever seen!" (The last statement was pretty true). I was beginning to develop an empathy for all mascots. What had I done to deserve this? Why did everyone feel the need to laugh at me? I was the most pathetic-looking clown I had ever seen!

By the time my mom and sister had arrived to pick me up at the end of the day, my makeup was almost non-existent and tears were falling from my eyes. They started to laugh and quickly realized by my unamused glare that I was not in the mood. My mother stood and took my photo as cars continued to drive by. This was the height of my humiliation.

Driving home, I vowed I would never dress as a mascot...no matter how much I'd get paid. I immediately called the temp agency and told them that I would not be dressing up as a clown the next day. Out of curiosity, I decided to drive by the store the following day to see who had replaced me. I saw an upbeat clown doing cartwheels up and down the patch of grass along the thoroughfare. I had been replaced.

I thought that this story was one I could file away...until I arrived at college the next Fall. I was excited to begin a new chapter of my life at a school seven hours from where I grew up. As I created new friendships, I met someone who grew up very close to my hometown. She was telling me about how she had always been scared of clowns. I felt the need to share my story with her. At the end, she said, "That was you?" I was mortified. "I was terrified of you! You were the saddest clown I've ever seen. I still have nightmares about you!"

Moral of the story? Think twice before you laugh at someone in costume.